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You must be wondering why I am reviewing V/H/S/Halloween in January instead of October, right? It’s because I did not have access to watch it like I did with the previous films in the franchise like V/H/S 85 and V/H/S Beyond.

I am really kind of torn on it. It’s not my favorite entry, but it’s definitely not the worst either. If anything, it’s more consistent than a lot of the franchise, even if the highs never hit as hard as some of the best segments across the series. I still had fun watching it, but with a Halloween-themed V/H/S I was expecting to love it, not just like it.

Diet Phantasma was goofy, over-the-top fun, but it got repetitive pretty fast. The idea itself only has so much mileage. That said, the fake commercial during the credits absolutely worked and might’ve been my favorite part of the segment.

Coochie Coochie Coo really didn’t land for me. I hated the baby theming and I’m completely over gross-out baby horror at this point. After Barbarian and some truly awful Tubi originals, I don’t need any more “look how disgusting breastmilk is” horror, please stop. Still, the lead actresses were entertaining and had great chemistry, which helped more than I expected.

Ut Supra Sic Infra was probably my biggest disappointment. Coming from the director of [REC], I expected something much stronger. The segment itself felt kind of empty and unfulfilling, but I can’t deny how impressive the effects were during the climax. I’m genuinely curious how that was pulled off. Also, it was nice seeing another Spanish segment in the series again.

Fun Size had some great jokes, but it also felt like wasted potential. A lot of the gags kept going way past their expiration date, and the candy factory setting was shockingly bland. I really wish they had gone full nightmare Willy Wonka instead of a generic industrial building. The hardest I laughed was when one of the girls just gave up and tried to climb onto the conveyor belt herself. My dumbest nitpick though is that given the reveal at the end, I have no idea how the pirate didn’t immediately notice the raw, meaty texture when tasting the candy.

Kidprint was a lot. People on Letterboxd talked about how disturbing it was, and honestly yeah, they weren’t wrong. I’m usually pretty desensitized to messed up horror, but this one hit on a different level. I actually had to pause the movie and take a break afterward. Unlike most V/H/S segments, which are gross but still kind of fun, this one just wasn’t fun at all. I thought the killer was too corny and the ending raises some weird logistical questions, but the grounded tone made it way more upsetting than expected.

Home Haunt completely saved the movie for me. It was fun, charming, festive, and easily the best segment of the bunch. I cared about the characters, the concept of a home haunt going wrong is perfect for this franchise, and the bedsheet ghost swarm was such a great “oh shit, it’s all real” moment. That final shot ruled. This is the only segment I’d go out of my way to rewatch.

I wasn’t as down on the wraparound as a lot of people seem to be. The concept felt very Meow Wolf Omega Mart, especially the payoff explaining why they were even trying to use ghosts to flavor soda. Still, it’s kind of a weird choice for a movie that’s supposed to be the Halloween entry.

Overall, I’d put V/H/S/Halloween right in the middle of the franchise, maybe somewhere in between V/H/S/99 and V/H/S/Beyond. I don’t get how anyone ranks it above V/H/S/Beyond, but that’s kind of the beauty of these movies. Everyone’s favorites and least favorites are totally different. I didn’t hate it, I just wanted to love it more, and at least the final segment made the whole watch worth it.