When you picture a pickup truck, it is typically in its natural habitat: on a road snaking through a cornfield, carrying bales of hay, or hauling metal beams from a construction site, or towing a trailer filled with cows. At least that’s what I imagine it to be doing, anyway, considering how I have never really used such a vehicle before. In any case, it’s definitely not parked in suburban Queens, NYC, with me, a skinny city kid with no use for such a vehicle whatsoever, sitting in the driver seat, staring in awe at the dials and switches on the console like I was being suddenly asked to pilot a WWII aircraft. Yet, here I was, and there it was, and I was absolutely loving it. I would be able to use this Ford F-150 Raptor 4×4 Supercrew for a whole weekend, and take it wherever and use for whatever. The possibilities were endless. So this is not going to be a review of what it’s like to use this truck for work, or how it increases productivity, or what’s under the hood, or horsepower or torque. Oh no. This will be a review of what it’s like for someone who has no knowledge of these things whatsoever, probably won’t care about these things, and who will most likely never live in a place or do anything that would practically require such a truck.
First impressions were impressive. I was just blown away by the sheer size of it, a behemoth of a vehicle. The wheelwell came all the way up to my bellybutton, and even just seeing the whole vehicle required me to step back a couple of feet. Painted in a bright orange paint, it was immediately noticeable, and stole the show from any of my neighbor’s puny Kias and Teslas. Climbing into it required hoisting yourself up using the built-in pull handle just inside the door, and stepping onto the metal stepper. Sitting within, I was immediately struck by how high I actually was. I was looking at the roofs of SUVs as they passed by, peeping at the bald spots of their drivers for the first time. The cabin within was exceptionally comfortable, with ample space for the driver, passenger, and anyone in the rear seats (from overwhelming positive receptions). A spacious interior was to be expected, however; what wasn’t were the myriad of tech features. CarPlay and Android Auto were wireless and seamless, and dash controls, power management, and comfort settings were all extensive and highly customizable, all ready for 2024 and beyond.
Pondering what my first stop would be, I first decided to drive to the houses of a couple of my buddies, and convince them that I had just bought a brand new truck. Driving the truck was a whole challenge in and of itself. I had to retrain my mind to account for the massive size of the body, and readjust my knowledge of where I believed the right side of the vehicle was and how close I would be to parked cars. It was extremely stressful, and very close to what I imagine it would feel like to drive a blimp down a small two-way street. Once I got the hang of it, I arrived at my friends’ houses, and put on the performance of my lifetime (“I had to take out three loans, but it was worth it! Yeah okay, so what if it only gets 12 miles per gallon and I’m not a contractor?”) After their bouts of jealously and of disbelief that I had done something so financially cavalier, I headed to my local gym, where I knew several muscle bros hung out in the parking lot in their slightly smaller trucks, spewing masculinity upon the afraid and undeserving. I pulled into the lot and drove past, specifically setting my exhaust settings to Sport to achieve the most massive rumble, and got a kick out of the look on their faces. There was a new big dog in town (for the next two days).
I decided to plan a miniature road trip with some of my homies to get the full American experience out of the truck, and we couldn’t decide on anything more American than an afternoon at a gun range. We found one in the less-liberal state of Pennsylvania that allowed us to rent a couple firearms without a license, and set on our way. Blasting music for hours, we were astounded by the quality of the truck’s superior surround-sound speaker setup (say that three times fast). We put on Travis Scott’s new Utopia album, and were amazed at the smallest intricacies and details in the tracks that we had completely missed on other listens. It was like we were finally hearing the album the way La Flame had intended, and cuts like Hyaena filled our ears with pure, unadulterated sound. Kanye’s Yeezus was next, and the speaker setup became one of my favorite features from the truck.
A late-night photoshoot
Later at night when we were returning, and driving through lonely and foggy Pennsylvania forests, the truck’s features really began shining, literally and figuratively. One of the best was an adaptive high beam, which only turned on when we needed it around low-visibility turns or steep hills. The multitude of cameras on the vehicle also helped immensely, as we were able to see all around us at all times, including the bed of the pickup. I felt extremely self aware, and finally felt like a pro at parking. The weekend was also filled with several realizations, such as how embedded in car culture trucks really are. We were stopped by several other pickup truck drivers, who gaped at our setup and asked how powerful our rig was and how much we paid for it (which we obviously didn’t know the answer to.) I also connected several dots after I realized the rear flap that opened was called a tailgate (“Like the party? Like when someone gets too close behind you while driving??!”) I of course realized that I had been the ignorant one in terms of the origin of words.
The weekend ended up being an incredible one. Getting the opportunity to use such a hardy vehicle simply for entertainment without having to purchase it is a rare one, and I valued every second with it. Between having the McDonald’s drive thru operator hand us our food by stretching himself up to our extremely high window, and my friend messaging me at 6am in the morning asking if I could please help him transport several huge packages he absolutely needed to drop off at UPS within the hour, every experience was amazing and I truly appreciated how the Ford F-150 got us through it all. An extremely powerful vehicle with off-road capabilities and an incredible road presence, if this Raptor was made with all of the bang but without the pickup aspect and without the $115k price tag, I would love to give it a try again and possibly even purchase one in the future (I’m looking at you, Bronco.)
